What we can Take from Dita von Teese

In February I went to the Glamonatrix show put on by the stunning Dita von Teese and friends in NYC. The cold night air and anticipation kept me alert though I was up at 4:30am and put in a day of work, and it was now 8pm. Women (and men!) in glamorous gowns and stunning makeup waited on line with me, equally as excited to watch the show. With my dear friend in tow, we found our seats, and eagerly waited for the curtains to open. My arms erupted in goosebumps when Dita emerged from the top of a blue, bejeweled baroque cake, and by the screams in the audience, I wasn’t the only one. My eyes almost hurt from how brightly she shone (because would it be Dita if she wasn't covered in crystals?) , and this was a trend that followed almost all of the other performances by her, and the equally talented dancers she had to entertain us in between her acts. I could go on about how spectacular the show was, but I think that there was something to be learned from Dita, exemplified by the relationship between her and my fellow show-goers.

The feminine urge to be wheeled around in a giant glittery cake

Level Up Your Own Authentic Self

To look at her striking red lips, jet black hair, and vintage style, you would think she was putting on a femme fatale persona. However, when she speaks, she is refreshingly down to earth and matter-of-fact. In her book, Your Beauty Mark she makes the statement , "To live looking any other way would be a lie. This is me." Dita makes a point of explaining how she applies her own makeup and styles her own outfits as well, graciously declining event hosts who offer to supply her with a glam squad. Her authenticity just happens to be loud, which is part of what makes her so seductive. She is unapologetically herself, and it is enthralling to watch. Chatters from the audience as we filed out of the theater confirmed this, as everyone was more excited to take pictures in the outfits they bought, because it was what made them feel like the best version of themselves. Very few tried to look like Dita, I may also mention, so it was beyond imitation of a celebrity. Everyone came in their own brand of glamor, and the audience’s energy did much to augment the energy of the show. Together, the experience was simply electrifying, so much so that I have, in fact been trying to cultivate my beauty mark ever since.

Embrace Beauty

Beauty is an ideal that we all should strive towards, as it gives us a standard to live up to and respect. In today’s times, it can be difficult for women to navigate what beauty means to them, because they may get called “high maintenance”, or simply think that looking glamorous every day was for trapped 50’s housewives who only put effort into their looks because they were under the scrutiny of the patriarchal gaze. Dita rebels against these ideas, noting that she goes to a dermatologist who is not one to freely suggest fillers and procedural enhancements, and simply honors the integrity of her skin. Glamor for her is a way to boost her own confidence, and beauty is simply a condition of her life. The audience, including myself, came dressed for the occasion. Very few jeans, sneakers, and bare faces. There was no dress code specification, it was late on a weeknight and many probably like me had work earlier in the day and were tired, but it didn’t stop us from putting in the effort, because we don’t just want to be bystanders, but wanted to participate in the beauty. Looking good wasn’t an afterthought, it was part of the excitement, and to me, this speaks volumes about the types of people that Dita attracts. These are people who are not just admiring her because she’s pretty and famous, but taking her creative essence and using it to inspire themselves and one another.

Me outside the theater, sporting the designer bags under my tired eyes

Don’t Let it all Hang Out

Dita is a proponent of women keeping their mystery, which she does in her everyday life. She saves the revealing outfits for her job, when she does her burlesque shows or is advertising a piece in her lingerie line, but in daily life, she is actually quite modest with her clothing. In an interview, she stated that for her, this helps her keep an air of mystery around her, which adds to her charisma and charm. Her conservative fashion choices most certainly have nothing to do with shrinking her confidence, it is rather the opposite; by not leaving everything out on display, she uses more “real estate” to establish her personality through her beautiful clothes, and she leaves people wanting to know more about her, instead of simply assuming they’ve literally seen it all. Though she can technically be regarded as a “stripper”, her presence commands respect, and she is regarded as elegant, and lauded for her grace and class. She’s never had a widespread public scandal, keeps her personal business personal, and speaks with dignity, even about her sex life. She doesn’t air her dirty laundry (or dirty parts for that matter), and this self-maintained privacy keeps others in check when it comes to violating personal boundaries.

Femininity is Multifaceted

For Dita, femininity isn’t necessarily characterized by traditional ideals of meekness and maternal inclination. She prefers to showcase her femininity in her clothing, gestures, and deportment instead. She is a businesswoman and commands respect, but not by putting on a masculine veneer. Instead, her natural confidence and authenticity does the talking for her, and we could all take something from that. There is a misconception that women who lean into their femininity all must want to “stay in the kitchen” and shouldn’t have ambitions of their own, and Dita gracefully breaks this mold. She doesn’t need to prove she can outbeat the boys, because they aren’t in her lane anyway, and she knows that. She is assured in her power, and doesn’t need to adopt a “girlboss” persona in order to convince everyone that she has it. All types of women were at her show, from more classically elegant women, edgy and masculine girls to fashion enthusiasts. She appeals to a broad net of femininity because she shines her own so brightly.

Here was the finale of the fabulous evening:

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/adc4a6_233443d05b894d0b89557800c7c9efbd/1080p/mp4/file.mp4